Hey Friend!
How’s it going?
This morning the fog was so thick I could barely see the tree across the road, but the sun has since come out and burned all of that away. In fact, sitting in a sunny spot might make you forget it’s still March. I was thinking about switching to my lighter coat tomorrow but as I drove down my road, I noticed the gritters have been out… Perhaps a freak snow shower has been forecasted that I’m unaware of? Hmmm… Might have to keep the duvet-coat on for a bit longer…
Over the past few weeks, my eye has been twitching on and off like crazy and this week, my other eyelid ballooned with a stye. My friend told me to put a warm teabag on it – ‘will clear it up in a day’, she said. Imagine my surprise when I got up yesterday and it had doubled in size, so that I could barely open my eye! I’ve since gone with the more conventional warm flannel and there has been a definite improvement.
I know the cause of this is stress. I learned this some years ago when I was in a temp job that I hated. The assistant was gunning for my job. My boss kept blaming me for things my predecessor had done, even though she could look at the date of the work and see that I hadn’t even had an interview at that point let alone joined the company… Anyway, my eye started twitching a few weeks after I joined and it wouldn’t stop. On the last day of my three month contract, the boss said she wouldn’t be keeping me on. I said I knew, wished her all the best and left with the biggest smile on my face. I kid you not, but as soon as I stepped out of the building, my eye stopped twitching – my stress relieved!
So, although I feel fine and that’s what I tell anyone who asks, my twitching eye gives me away every time…
These past few weeks, stress has come from a number of places, one of them being work-related. I work with a colleague who thinks she’s my boss.
She’s not.
She just thinks she is and likes to tell me and my other colleague what to do.
I don’t really pay much attention to her – it’s a ‘smile and wave’ kind of reaction to her little ways and not letting her bother me. However, after a week of things being fine when we arrived back in the New Year, she then suddenly switched on me.
The reason? I went upstairs to speak to the Headteacher which, she assumed was about her…
Of course, her paranoia is nothing to do with me, but she decided to make it my business.
Over the following weeks she:
- Gave me the silent treatment
- Told me she wasn’t able to do a task that is basically her job role, but happily did it when someone else asked
- Kept locking my cupboard after I’d been in there to get files or put them away – and please note that it is my cupboard. She has no reason to go in there as all of her files are on her desk
- Refused to put paper in the printer even though the printer is right next to her desk and I’m in a separate area so, she’d know before anyone that it needed refilling
- Made a show of speaking to my colleague every day and saying nothing to me
- Told me how to do my job on numerous occasions even though her way was wrong and she was told as much by the Head
For a while, I’d tried to ignore it. But the more passive-aggressive she got, the more it wound me up.
I’d confronted her over a couple of things but I just didn’t have the energy to keep doing it.
So, I called a meeting with my boss and the Head…
My stomach was in knots and it was only while I was speaking that I realised my hands were shaking. I quickly placed them on my lap under the desk and hoped they hadn’t noticed.
Despite that, I spoke with clarity and forcefulness. Despite my heartbeat racing in my chest and heat rising through my body, I stayed calm and said what needed to be said.
There have been a couple of instances in other work places where I’ve wanted to stand up for myself but didn’t. I wasn’t besties with the boss or been around for eons so I didn’t feel I’d be supported (I was right on both counts). But this time – I wasn’t just standing up for myself.
You see, my dear friend and colleague had left at Christmas because of this same woman and her behaviour and I’ve since learned that several other people have left for the same reason.
It angers me that one person has been given the opportunity to wield such power and the higher-ups needed to know it.
I’ve been told that a conversation has been had and the colleague has (in more formal wording) been told to stick to her role and mind her business 😊
My eye is twitching slightly less than usual…
One stress-inducing event down, several more to go. But let’s get into that another time.
Speak soon xx
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