We Regret to Inform You…

Hey Friend,

How are you? April is living up to its reputation with rain appearing on and off since the start of the month. Still, it’s good for the flowers, right?

As you may or may not know, I’ve been on the job hunt for a while. And by a while, I mean the best part of two years. I have lost track of the many jobs I’ve applied for. I started to keep a tally but it just got depressing when I added another ‘no’ to the list.

Along the way, I’ve had a few temp roles. While I was studying, I went back to the company I worked at before I had my son. I didn’t want to do a Garment Tech role but I was desperate so, I went back.

Walking into that building again was surreal. Some things hadn’t changed (the massive decorative egg and carousel in the foyer at the whimsy of the company owner); but a lot of things had changed. The sparseness of the office was the main thing. Most people worked from home at that point and bizarrely, the powers that be had decided to sell off most of the office furniture. I’d been there a couple of weeks when the directive dropped in everyone’s inboxes to be in the office at least three days a week even though they hadn’t even remotely prepared for this influx of bodies. Cue lots of ‘Is anyone sitting here?’ and the occasional glare when someone came in and found you in ‘their’ seat…

I was happy to leave. Nothing in the fashion industry has changed – it’s still a case of ‘Who can I blame’? Rather than ‘What’s the best solution’? The tech team was under-staffed and over-worked. All the office politics that I’d escaped before were still evident and the turnover of staff in the few months I worked there was ridiculous. I was glad to get out.

I continued to apply for jobs while in my last year of uni but no joy.

Last year, I got the invigilating role which you can read all about here. It wasn’t what I expected with students sleeping their way through exams, turning up late and often, not even having a pen to complete said exam!

Even whilst invigilating, I applied for jobs, hoping to put my degree to good use as an editorial assistant, publishing assistant, copywriter, copy editor or assistant librarian.

I finally got a break last August – an assistant copy writer/account manager role. The company was small and the owner was enthusiastic about teaching me the ropes and enabling me to publish work on their website. She was all about my growth – amazing, right? Well, it would have been if it were true.

It felt weird from the start. The email I received telling me I had the job said: ‘The pay is lower than you wanted so I understand if you want to turn it down. We should be hiring again in the new year so we will keep you in mind.’ I needed work so, of course I went back and said the pay was fine. The reply then said: ‘I know it’s the school holidays so if you want to put off starting until September, that’s fine.’ I insisted I’d be fine starting right away.

This was the workplace I mentioned that had the crazy dog that went for one of the workers we shared the office with. The same dog who I had to feed chicken to in order for him to be okay with me being in the office. Mad dog aside, it was at the start of my second week that the owner suggested we have our morning meeting downstairs in the communal area for a ‘change of scene.’ We sat down and she proceeded to tell me that the big contract she was expecting for September had fallen through and she couldn’t afford to keep me on.

If I was a surfer, I imagine that what I was feeling was somewhat like when they turn and see an unexpected wave about to crash into them. Tears pricked at my eyes and I immediately told them to not even dare, took a deep breath and carried on.

It’s what happened next that was odd.

I had booked the next week off as it was the school holidays and was due to work the last week of August. She insisted I finish the blog post I was working on for the website so I could have a link to something I’d published. She looked over it before I left and told me it was great, just needed a few tweaks.

The week I was due to finish, I got a message from her saying I could just finish up that day and she would collect the laptop as she was really busy.

Hmmm…

When she came to collect the equipment, there was no mention of re-hiring me if things improved. In fact, it was a very awkward exchange.

I gave it a few weeks before I emailed regarding the blog post. Imagine my surprise when I was told I needed to be patient as the post needed ‘a lot of work’…

I also noticed her post on LinkedIn celebrating the company’s brand-new BIG client…

She has since ghosted me, with no reply to my emails.

It was a few months later that I saw the copywriter I worked with there was looking for work. I reached out to him and he said the owner was going in a new direction and didn’t need writers anymore. So, all of that because she changed her mind about how she wanted to run her company? Obviously, her choice, but the dishonest tactics were a bit much and frankly, unnecessary.

I went back to invigilating for the mock exam period in November which brought in some much-needed funds. The Exam Officer mentioned there would be an assistant role coming up for which she’d like me to apply. It sounded great. Unfortunately, when the post was finally advertised, it wasn’t what any of us expected. No official days or hours, just ad hoc, as and when needed from week to week. The Exam Officer was annoyed, ‘Who will want this job? No one is going to apply for that!’

I’ve applied for jobs I want and far many jobs that I don’t. I’ve had to deal with the continual assumption that I’m just not trying hard enough, that I could and should just take anything, that I’m sitting at home all day doing nothing (seriously, I have three children – what’s the likelihood that I’m doing nothing all day??).

I’ve applied to supermarkets, various civil service positions, libraries, and publishers (looking at you, Penguin, amongst others). I’ve applied to be a school administrator, receptionist, proofreader, speech to text editor, virtual assistant, and a correspondence officer amongst others.

 I can tell you it’s equally frustrating to hear nothing in reply as it is to get so close only to be told, ‘We regret to inform you…’

The thing is, I read the job descriptions and I think ‘I can do that.’ And even on the roles where I wonder if I can do all of the thirty things that have been listed, I have a friend who tells me I absolutely can and encourages me to go for it. The worst ones are where the job advert actually says, ‘Even if you don’t tick all the boxes for our requirements, we’d still love to hear from you!’ Which makes me ask, why? Why encourage the seemingly under-qualified to apply if you’re still not going to even offer an interview?

It’s a cliché but being unemployed is an emotional rollercoaster. The highs of hopefulness that this will be the application that will turn everything around and be the dream job. The lows of struggling to pay bills, having to borrow money and not being able to afford the basics let alone anything fun.

I know it will get better – because it just has to. So I will keep trying. I will keep applying, keep hoping, keep praying.

And just for fun I ‘ll throw in another cliché – the best is yet to come.

Speak soon xx

**UPDATE**

I wrote this at the start of the month and didn’t get around to posting it. I’ve since got a school admin role – all be it a temp position, but yay me! 😊